


Lonely nights and bitter regrets

by Drago



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Barebacking, Cheating, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Unsafe Sex, but then it gets a bit sappy, it's a bit bleak I guess, not really explicit tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:33:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26806651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drago/pseuds/Drago
Summary: Changmin comes to Yunho for advice. Things get out of hand.
Relationships: Jung Yunho/Shim Changmin, Shim Changmin/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	Lonely nights and bitter regrets

Nowadays, Yunho is perpetually exhausted. Even without working on an album or actively promoting, there’s still a lot for an idol to do. Especially for someone as likable and famous as Yunho. It doesn’t help that ever since Changmin announced his engagement Yunho had to do everything alone, just in case some fans felt too strongly about it and didn’t want to see Changmin’s face too often. And that’s fine, Yunho is used to carrying the whole world on his back, but it does get exhausting. He is almost happy he won’t ever have to worry about marriage, if it takes so much work.  
The wedding is in less than a month, and he doesn’t have a gift yet. He will be giving them money, of course, but he also wants to give Changmin… and his fiancee something more personal. Except he has no idea what to get for both of them. Buying Changmin presents is easy, but he doubts his fiancee would like a Lego set or a box of premium Japanese beef.  
He is supposed to be sleeping, but instead he is half-lying on the couch, worrying about a gift that – in the end, won’t even matter. He is too tired to go to bed. He knows it would be better for his back, he is no longer eighteen to be able to sleep anywhere without feeling it later, but just thinking about the effort it will take to drag his tired body to the bedroom is already too much. So couch it is. If he will be able to turn off his brain for a second. Maybe he should actually take the pills his manager got for him for nights like this one. But he knows he won’t do that, he doesn’t like self-medicating, even if it’s something as innocuous as herbal sleeping pills.  
He finally dozes off, or at least he thinks he does, but then someone knocks… pounds on his door. Must be one of the neighbors, and Yunho immediately gets angry. Usually, they are quite respectful of his schedule and know better than to bother him in the evening. He gets up, already wide awake and geared up for a confrontation, but the fight leaves him the second he opens the door.  
Changmin looks disheveled, and his eyes are wild as he shoulders past Yunho without a word. He is holding a full bottle of vodka. It’s not Changmin’s (or Yunho’s) drink of choice, but maybe someone gave it to him, and he isn’t known for wasting alcohol. Or maybe he is feeling sad, vodka is good for that.  
He makes sure to lock the door before he follows Changmin, who is already sprawled on the couch, faced pressed into Yunho’s pillow. Yunho sits next to his legs, patiently waiting for the younger man to speak. Sometimes, Changmin needs a little nudge, and sometimes he needs to do it on his own terms. Yunho knows how to read him, so he waits. It never takes long anyway, not when Yunho is the one waiting.  
Changmin finally shows his face again, and he already looks slightly drunk. Either that or he has a fever, which would be rather unfortunate, all things considered.  
“Am I doing the right thing?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Is it smart that I’m getting married? Some people have been telling me that I should wait for you to get married first, since you’re older.”  
“We aren’t even family, so I don’t see why should it matter. Besides, you know that it won’t happen,” Yunho scolds him gently. “And you know better than to listen the other people. Always listen to your heart, ‘Min. I heard it’s normal to get cold feet before the wedding, but your heart knows.”  
“Okay,” Changmin says. Then he adds, “Let’s drink.”  
Yunho offers to bring out the shot glasses, but Changmin just opens the bottle and takes a good swig. Yunho is too tired to drink, but he won’t let his friend get drunk alone.  
They drink slowly, Yunho managing to pace them, but they still get drunk quickly, they aren’t that young anymore. Yunho knows there’s more to Changmin’s melancholy, but he lets the other man ignore it, lets him ramble on and on about the flowers, the napkins, the vanilla cake he doesn’t like and the ugly, boring suit Kyuhyun chose for him.  
Yunho hums and nods in all the right places, even though he hasn’t tried the cake or seen the suit, since he is not involved in the preparations. Changmin asked him if he wanted to be his best man, but Yunho didn’t. It wouldn’t feel right.  
At one point he makes them ramen, although it definitely isn’t the best choice for a drunk meal, but his hands are already shaking slightly, so he doesn’t trust himself with a knife. Changmin doesn’t seem to care, inhaling the noodles while he talks, chasing them with more vodka.  
That’s why sometime later his tongue tastes like alcohol and spices, and Yunho’s probably isn’t much better. But everything seems better through the alcoholic haze. Changmin kisses like he has something to prove, like he is trying to suck Yunho’s soul through his mouth.  
Yunho’s back hits the bed, but he doesn’t remember moving, maybe Changmin carried him there, his still grip surprisingly strong despite all the vodka they had. They strip, hands carelessly ripping off the clothes, scratching and squeezing as they roam all over their bodies. Yunho doesn’t think about anything at all when Changmin spreads his legs open or when a hot, wicked tongue finds its way inside his body. He is more than willing when long fingers fuck him open, followed by an even longer, bare cock. He doesn’t mind, he never did, it makes him feel even closer to the younger man.  
Changmin’s heavy body feels good on top of him, and he doesn’t let the younger man pull away even for a second, craving skin on skin contact for as long as possible. There’s nothing sloppy about the way Changmin fucks into him, easily finding his prostate. But Yunho knows he could climax even without that, the feeling of being filled enough to bring him there. He squeezes around the other man, circling his hips to give Changmin what no woman could ever give. Judging from the sounds his partner makes he is more than successful.  
Changmin’s lips latch onto his nipple, and everything becomes a blur after that. Too much alcohol, too much pleasure and the guilt buried underneath. Yunho whines and cries as his swollen, dark red cock rubs between their stomachs. He comes with a shout, his orgasm almost painful and excessive, some of the cum reaches his chest. It’s been a while since he was with another person, another man.  
Changmin gets rougher after that, chasing his own release. You’d think it’s been a while for him too, but Yunho knows better. Even drunk, he can’t lie to himself. It doesn’t matter anyway, Changmin is with him, _in him_ now, and it’s enough.

He wakes up sore and nasty, died cum flaking off his stomach, thighs and, most probably, ass. He also wakes up alone, and even though he knew it would happen, it still makes him feel cheap. It’s definitely not the first time they’ve done it, but it will be the last. Yunho already shamed his name, even if no one else will know, and he won’t ever be able to look Changmin’s fiancee in the eye again. At least they won’t be seeing each other frequently.  
He cleans up the living room and then himself, vigorously scrubbing off the evidence of his weakness. He makes himself a strong, black coffee and drinks it while watching some morning show. He can handle coffee now, but not when it’s this strong and bitter. Still, he drinks it.  
He toys with the idea of calling Changmin, but what would that achieve? He doesn’t really want to know who the younger man went to. So he does the housework he usually neglects during the week, slowly and diligently enough to keep himself busy for almost four hours. He orders chicken for lunch, since he doesn’t feel like cooking. He checks his emails while he eats, calls his mother and listens to her complain about his sister.  
When his phone rings he almost ignores it after checking the caller, but it would be rude, and he’s already done enough.  
“Oppa...” Byeol says the second he picks up, and she sounds like she’s been crying. They aren’t exactly close, but he always showed her kindness, and apparently it’s more than Kyuhyun did, so she messages him sometimes when Changmin is being unreasonable.  
“Did something happen?” he asks calmly, nails digging into his thigh. Does she know? Did Changmin tell her?  
“Have you talked to Changmin recently?”  
She knows about the concert, but she isn’t asking about that.  
“I did, yes,” he doesn’t add that it was only yesterday.  
“And did he… ask for your advice?”  
Cold washes over him, but he calmly confirms it happened, waiting for her to snap.  
“What did you tell him?”  
“I told him to listen to his heart, that’s all,” _and then I fucked him_.  
“Oh. I see. I apologize for bothering you, but I know he sometimes comes to you for advice,” Byeol’s voice is shaking now, but she still isn’t angry. “Changmin called off the wedding.”  
“He did what?!”  
“He broke up with me, oppa,” she is crying now, “said he made a mistake.”  
“I’m so sorry, I was thinking about our fans when I told him that.”  
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. I have to go now, call my mum. Goodbye.”  
“Goodbye...”  
His heart is racing, and he wants to call her back, confess everything. But she doesn’t know Changmin cheated on her, and if it gets out… Yunho can’t put both of their careers on the line, he isn’t stupid enough for that, even if he does feel incredibly guilty. They had sex before, he was Changmin’s first partner, but it never lead to anything more. Why now? What changed?  
He should call Changmin, but he doesn’t. There are other things and people Changmin has to worry about. Their company won’t be happy, not after all the announcements they had to put out. It took a while to convince them to let it happen in the first place. And then there’s Changmin’s family… Yunho can only imagine how mad his parents will be.  
He showers again and seriously considers taking some sleeping pills this time. There’s no way he will fall asleep without them, and he doesn’t want to drink again. He knows the upcoming days won’t be easy for DBSK.  
He actually has two pills in his hand when someone knocks on the door, and Yunho groans loudly. He just wants to forget about the outside world, but the knocking doesn’t stop, it just gets more insistent, so he puts the pills back and opens the door.  
It’s Changmin, again. He looks even crazier than the night before, and his eyes are slightly red. He’s been crying, which doesn’t happen often. Yunho lets him in, and the younger man immediately clings to him, strong arms wrapping around his shoulders. He smells like wind and cigarettes.  
“Why did you do it?” Yunho asks softly, gently caressing Changmin’s back.  
“I finally listened to my heart.”  
“You were going to marry her, Changmin. You have to love her,” he tries to reason.  
“I thought I did. I _wanted to love her_. But… I was afraid, this whole time. And I can’t do that to her. Or us.”  
Yunho knows that the ‘us’ means Changmin and him, not Changmin and Byeol.  
“You had more than fifteen years for that, and you never wanted me before.”  
“There was not a day I didn’t want you,” Changmin whispers hotly against his neck. “I thought it wasn’t right for us to be together, but I can’t live like that anymore. In my heart I know that you’re the only one who can make me happy.”  
Maybe Yunho should be the bigger, better person. Maybe he should tell Changmin to go back to his ex-fiancee to apologize, make things right. Or maybe he should be mad it took this much time and pain for the other man to finally accept his feelings. But Yunho still remembers the disappointment in his own father’s eyes when he came out to his family, he knows how difficult it is to love yourself for who you are when people around you seem to be against it. So he doesn’t do any of that, he just takes Changmin’s hand and pulls him towards the bedroom instead. They will deal with the world tomorrow.


End file.
